The Malarone Chronicles

Hello there all, I am writing to you livefrom the Laos People's Democratic Republic, and things have been going super dee duper well thus far. I've got lots of stories already, but only so much internet time to share them. The one thing that I want to talk about today is not the temples, the scenary, or the people, no it's the drugs.

If any of you have ever been to a tropical climate you may have heard of a little thing called Malarone. See Malarone is a drug that prevents you from getting Malaria, so it's a pretty handy thing to have. However, one of the side effects of Malarone is very, very vivid dreams. I have had a number of vivid dreams since I got here, but many of them were rather forgettable. However there are two that stand out.

During the first dream, I was in class teaching, when the Head of School came into my class and told me what a great job I had been doing teaching during my first year. Of course, I was humbled by this, and I thanked him for his kind words. He then told me that he wanted to thank me by giving me a present, and he proceeded to give me a key lime pie. Yeah, you read that right, I was given pastry as a recognition of success.

He then handed me an apple pie to give to another teacher, Rebecca. The thing was, this pie was in fact half-eaten. I looked at it awkwardly, and I was vry unsure as to the best method of giving her this pie as a way of saying thank you. Eventually, I cornered Rebecca in the school chapel and gave her the pie and said "You know that this is for", only to wake up confused, and a little hungry.

The next dream, however, is far odder. See, in my dream I was stuck on the island featured in the show Lost, with all of the characters on the show. Now, in the dream we were going to confront the "Moster" which has been a staple on the show since the firt season. After peering beyong a door, we figured out that it was going to be there, and we figured out that it would be a dragon or something else equally frightening. When we barged into the room, we found something more terrifing than any fire-brething lizard.

We found a home and garden show.

Seriously.

After taking a seat, we listened to the leader of this show, talk, and many people chanted back, in a zealous manner. The leader, then said "It's time for the most important part of this show, the human sacrifice". It was then informed, that everyone would have to write down the names of five people they felt should be sacrificed, and they would end up sacrificing the five people with the most votes.

I scurried around, and seemed to bump into everyone I knew, from Acadia, to Kodiak, to Nipissing, to teaching. A few people from various walks of life came to me, and said that they were going to write my name down, so I wrote down their name to counter it.

After I wrote down the names of four people the worst thing possible happened. I woke up.

I guess I'll never know what happens after the fifth vote was casted. Maybe that is for the best...

Until next time,

G