Monday, February 23, 2009

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

They say that breaking up is hard to do, and well they sure are right.

With a heavy heart, I would like to inform you that this blog is breaking up. I know that this may come as a surprise to a lot of you on the outside, but trust me, it has been a long time coming. The differences between this blog's rant and rave, nerdy opinions style, and the more personalized travel focus and description of my adventures, has just become too much to bear. As such, from here on out, those two sides shall never meet again.

The opinionated side of the blog won the real estate in the settlement, as such Getting Glenergized will remain focused on my personalized opinions and pursuit of life's nerdy passions, with particular focus on politics, music, sports, and wrestling. While my travel adventures have fittingly moved to a new location, called Reflections of a Backpacker's Soul. The new site has already imported any old travel stories, and has been setting up a nice bit of space. Both sides agree to stay friends, and are going to provide links and feeds to one another, to show no ill will.

More than anything, neither side wants to put you, our readers, in the middle, so please try to make time for both blogs. We understand that you may have less time for either of us, and we don't want to get too needy, but we do love keeping you around, so please stick stay in touch, we'd hate to loose you.

Until next time,

G

and:

Safe Journeys,

Sunday, January 4, 2009

A Series of Unfortunate Events -- Christmas 2008 Edition

Prelude – The Best Laid Plans

The following is a special joint blog from Glen and Elvina outlining some of the perils and pitfalls of their travel to Vietnam and Cambodia over Christmas. Before reading, be clear of one thing. Despite the number of setbacks along the way, this has been an excellent trip so far, and both of us would fully recommend a trip like this to anyone.

Glen’s Song: “Nowhere With You” – Joel Plaskett
Elvina’s Song: “Imitosis” – Andrew Bird

Glen: The plan was simple enough. Fly from Shanghai to Shenzhen, take a ferry to Macau, and overnight there. Afterwards, wake up very early and catch a cheap Viva Macau flight to Ho Chi Minh City. Hang out in Southern Vietnam for a few days before taking a riverboat up to Phnom Penh, Cambodia on the 24th, and spend the rest of the Christmas holidays in Cambodia.

John Lennon once said, “Life is what happens when you are making other plans”, and let me tell you, we were in for a dose of life.

Elvina: Where oh where to begin? The few weeks leading up to holiday have been busy, busy, busy – as I moved into another apartment, wrote 18 student reports and pre-planned for our trip. The geek at heart still managed to find time to draft a chronological itinerary of our plans in a spreadsheet. With all the stress at home and at work, it was comforting to know that a great time was waiting as the light at the end of the tunnel.

Early on, we decided that since we’d be let out of school at noon on Friday the 19th, we’d like to spend the night in Shanghai and fly out the next morning. We looked carefully at the Shanghai subway map and compared it to the addresses of hostels. We found and chose one that was within walking distance to the metro line that was two stops away from the Maglev to Shanghai Pudong airport, on the east side of the city.

Chapter 1 – The First of Many

Glen’ Song: “Escape is at Hand for the Traveling Man” – The Tragically Hip
Elvina’s Song: “Leaving On A Jet Plane” – Chantal Kreviazuk

Glen: It is worth noting at this point that we rejected a hostel that looked ideal, great rooms, good price, but it was in the wrong location. It was on the West Side of the city, and closer to Hongqiao airport. Yes, a city the size of a small country has two fairly large airports. Don’t forget that part.

Our night in Shanghai went without incident or omens. Nice dinner and drinks with good friends, many of who were heading across the Pacific Ocean for Christmas. We woke up the next morning and began making our way to Pudong Airport.

As we were crammed into the very congested Shanghai subway cars, a sudden realization came over me. I had forgotten my alarm clock in the hostel. I mentioned this, thinking that I would leave it. Really, I didn’t want to abandon my clock, since it was very handy to travel with, and I knew that we would need to wake up early the next morning to catch our flight out of Macau.

Looking at my watch, we decided that we had time to make a 10 minute backtrack to fetch my clock, while Elvina wait at the Maglev station to catch the super 430 km/h train to the Pudong airport.

Elvina: We were plenty good on time, so I wasn’t worried at all. We got off the very crowded train, crossed over and caught a similarly crowded train back to where we started. We decided I would stay on the platform with all of our bags while Glen make a quick run back to the hostel and fetch the alarm clock. There I waited, noting that the trains were coming every 5 minutes or so.

Glen comes back about 15 minutes later, explaining that getting the alarm clock was no problem at all but got held up trying to pay for the subway. Like most automated machines, the ones that sell tickets in the Shanghai metro prefer coins or near perfect bills. So Glen spent some time unsuccessfully feeding his non-perfect monetary note into several machines before someone eventually helped him out. And now we were on our way!

Glen: I’m sure at this point you may be getting bored of this, and wondering just what we are going to start complaining about. Well keep reading, because the first calamity occurred right after we got to Pudong.

We got to the airport with barely enough time. We knew that we had to hurry, so we quickly ran around the busy terminal and made our way to the Shezhen Airlines check in counter. We thought it odd that our flight was not listed, but thought little of it, and got in the line for a different flight offered by the airline, and assumed that they could sort us out.

After making our way to the front of the line, which is never an easy task in China, we presented our e-ticket to the woman behind the counter, and she looked very confused.

She spoke some incomprehensible words to Elvina. Clearly, my Chinese lessons were not progressing at light speed. I was more thankful than ever to be traveling with a fluent Mandarin speaker.

Elvina looked at me, laughed a bit and said, “We went to the wrong airport.”

I told you to not forget about the two airports. Clearly, I hadn’t given that same advice to myself.

Lucky for us, (Despite everything that we told you and are about to tell you, I am amazed at how many times that I start a sentence with that particular fragment) there were several flights a day to Shenzhen, and it only cost us around $40 each to change our flight to a later one. To help kill the time, we also had an hour-long bus ride to the other airport.

For the next several hours, both waiting in the airport, and en route, we would repeatedly laugh and say “We went to the wrong airport”, followed by “Rookie mistake!” Both Elvina and I have traveled a fair amount, and really should have known better.

We agreed that it was just a bit of overconfidence, and we would not make a careless oversight like that again for the rest of the trip. We were half right, but unfortunately, not the right half.

Elvina: We found this episode very funny, and our excitement was in no way deflated. We got on the bus to the correct airport and got all checked in once we were there. Waiting in line to go through security, we were fairly excited, being at the beginning of a great trip. I went through first, and as usual, made the metal detector go off. So while I’m standing up on the platform getting wanded, I notice Glen having some trouble at the desk where the security guard is sitting. I try to find out what’s going on but security just says he has to go back for something. Glen waves that everything is okay and he’ll meet me inside. Off I go, unclear of whether I should wait right there or go to the boarding gate. After some dilly-dallying and noticing that there are two security check points, I figure it’s best to go to the boarding gate. And yay, we found each other. Apparently part of his boarding pass had fallen off and he just had to go back for a new one. So we sit down with a big sigh of relief and Glen says to me that since these little bloopers happened to us early on, we were probably in for smooth sailing the rest of the trip.

Chapter 2 – Macanese Nights

Glen’s Song: “Pure Morning” – Placebo
Elvina’s Song: “Bottom of the Barrel” - Amos Lee

Glen: So, I was wrong about the smooth sailing bit, dead wrong.

Before I realized this, we got to Macau in need of a good nights sleep. Since, it was a Saturday, and the “Vegas of the East” is a bumping place on the weekends, it was hard to find a cheap place to stay. After doing a bit of research, we settled on what appeared to be a lovely and cheap place, pictured here.

Go ahead, take a few minutes to be captivated by the nice website. Don’t the rooms look great? Nice rooms, prime location, and cheap rates. What more could a traveler possibly ask for?

The truth.

After arriving at the place, we were shocked at what we saw on the website compared to what we saw in real life. Dirty is a word that gets thrown around so much that it tends to lose its meaning.

This place was freaking-filthy. The place looked like it belonged in a horror film. The narrow, I just imagined some hapless victim trying to run down the narrow and darkened stairs. A smell came over me, which I assumed was a cross between clogged sewage and dust from the 1960s. Brown water and tiny bugs came out of the tap when you turned it on, so needless to say, showering was out of the question.

Elvina: It was fairly easy to get from the Macau airport into the city. Taxis were waiting for us, without the need to haggle prices, as they ran the meter. The car doors were even automatic, the driver would push a button and the door would open for us. Armed with the address and directions that the hotel emailed us, and wanting to flex some Cantonese muscle, I showed/told the driver where we wanted to go. He was brought us where we needed to be and pointed into an alley that we’d need to walk into. He was funny, said he would take HK dollar, US dollar, Chinese Yuan, anything… so long as it was real.

We head into this alley and find the place up a narrow flight of stairs. I often judge things too soon, and have been working on that. So I told myself that it was an old building and would be better once we got there. We get the “front desk” and there is just an old man who only speaks Cantonese, none of the polite, English speaking staff that we had been in email contact with. He wants a printout of our booking, which I don’t have, and he proceeds to lecture me about not bringing it. He takes out a ratty old notebook marked in Chinese, numbers and letters. We see a GL and point at it, as our reservation. He keeps lecturing us, that without the printout, he really shouldn’t be giving us a room but since he has vacancies tonight, he will.

So he gives us a key and directs us to a room right near the desk. We unlock this room and just laugh. The walls don’t touch the ceiling so you are basically in a big cubicle. There is a sink in the corner of the room that looks as if it only dispenses rusty water, a fan, and some furniture from a yard sale.

We put our stuff down and go for a walk, trying to make the most of the Macau night. We had a nice stroll, after all. We get back to the hotel, knowing we have to leave at 4:30 anyway. I am scared of what I might catch in the bed, so I sleep in the clothes I’m wearing, not wanting to come in contact with much else. The alarm goes off and we get out of there pretty much right after.

Chapter 3 – Access Denied

Glen’s Song: “Should I Stay or Should I Go?” – The Clash
Elvina’s Song: “Help!” – The Beatles

Glen: We got to Ho Chi Minh City, and everything seemed to be going to plan. Our hotel was easy to find, and quite nice. We saw some museums, crawled in some tunnels, did some shopping and had a great time. But alas, this is a post about things not going well; so let me skip ahead to December 24th.

After seeing some of the Mekong Delta, and staying at the border city of Chau Doc, the plan was to take a boat up the Mekong River into Cambodia. We even met this great other couple and discussed the possibility of going out for a Christmas dinner in Phnom Penh, and possibly exchanging some tacky presents with one another. It seemed like the recipe for a Merry Christmas, a good thing for a Grinch like me.

So there we were, sitting on a boat, approaching the Cambodian border. The tour guide came around to collect everyone’s passports, in order to arrange visas for all. He takes mine, looks at it, and returns it with no problems.

Then, he takes Elvina’s and things start to go down hill.

Elvina: Yeah, yeah, yeah, so nice time in Ho Chi Minh City. Now, all of that seems a blur of tourist sites and being hassled by peddlers on the street. But fast forward to sitting on the “fast boat” to the Vietnam/Cambodia border. Glen has already set the stage.

The tour guide flips through my passport and I can see on his face something is not quite right. He looks at me and says, “You don’t have any more pages.” I flip to the blank pages but he points at where it says “Amendments and Endorsements.” A lot of gesturing to those pages and being gestured at other pages which say “Visas” up at the top.

Blur.

“You can’t cross the border.”

Blur.

My first instinct was to cry. My second instinct was to negotiate. My first lucid thought was that I was holding Glen back from going into Cambodia.

After gathering enough composure to ask the tour guide what to do next, we learned that I had to go back to Ho Chi Minh City to get more pages from the US consulate. It just took forever and a day to get here and we were going back?? So we get dropped off at the dock, where we eat lunch. Shortly after, we head back on the same boat, then a six hour bus ride back to HCMC. The night we arrive, Vietnam had just beat Thailand in a soccer match. The streets were insane – motorbikes everywhere, people clanging on pot lids and noisemakers and waving the Vietnamese flag. We got stuck in the kind of traffic that I would never be able to drive myself out of. I felt amused by this, but mixed in with annoyance and anger at myself.

There we were, dumped off at the main backpackers’ drag and found a hotel to stay at within a few minutes. I don’t remember what happened next, I just wanted to go to bed and wake up with the problems solved.

Glen: Yeah, I didn’t leave her and go to Cambodia by myself, as tempting as that may have been.

Chapter 4 – The Ghost of Christmas Plans

Glen’s Song: “Plans” – Bloc Party
Elvina’s Song: “That Was the Worst Christmas Ever!” -- Sufjan Stevens


Elvina: (ed note: please do not make implications from this song title, as this was NOT the worst Christmas ever.) I woke up on Christmas morning, but it turns out, the aforementioned incident was not a bad dream. We started strategizing and decided we would go to the consulate tomorrow and treat ourselves a nice Christmas. We spent the day wandering around the streets of HCMC, booked a flight to Siem Reap the next day, shopped for touristy stuff, found a vegetarian restaurant (actually found a bunch so we actually had choices) and then Glen got a haircut while I got a very strange pedicure for between $1-2. We had a traditional Christmas dinner: vegetarian Indian. The restaurant even had a Christmas tree outside. The waiter asked Glen if he would like it spicy. Glen answered yes and would regret this later.

We went back to the hotel to Skype our families to say Merry Christmas. First, we decided to call the US consulate so that I could be well-prepared in the event that they required any documents or information. I went to their web site, which we had just checked the day before. It said on the calendar of federal holidays that it was closed on Thursday, December 25 for Christmas. Sure, straightforward enough. Well, okay, tonight, looking on the page for their 24-hour serviced phone number, it had a special note saying that the consulate was closed also on Friday, December 26. That meant, given the weekend, we couldn’t get to the consulate until Monday.

Glen: Yeah, we really should have read that note about it being closed on the 26th, but I guess we figured that our luck was due to turn around by then.

So yet again, we were forced to make a plan in a hurry. In planning for this trip, we looked into a number of places, particularly in Vietnam, to go to, but did not think that we had enough time. Well, apparently we had a few more days to kill in Vietnam, so no point in standing still! We decided to go to Hoi Ann, since it seems like such a cool old place to go. But we had a few things to take care of first, namely the flight to Siem Reap booked for later that day.

We went to one of the many travel agents doting the streets of Ho Chi Minh City, and were able to change our flight to the 29th with relatively little hassle. Now, we just wanted to find a way to Hoi Ann. We figured a bus or train would be the best alternative, but we forgot one of the cardinal rules of traveling in Asia, distances can be deceiving.

While Hoi Ann looks close to Ho Chi Minh City on a map, Asian road and rail networks are nowhere near as developed as their Western counterparts, and it would take over 12 hours by train, and around 20 hours by bus to get there. This really would not have given us enough time to see the city at all.

So we did something that I you would never be able to do in the West. We went to the travel agent, and asked about flights to Danang (the nearest airport to Hoi Ann) that were leaving that day. He said that there was a flight going at 3:30pm. We looked at our watches, and noted that it was in fact noon. Surely, they could not sell a plan ticket to a foreigner with such little time, could they?

There was little time to ask them about the security concerns, so we said that we would take it. However, the only seats left were in Business Class. Sure it increased the cost, but it was still not that expensive, given that it was a forty-minute flight.

The travel agent, then called us a cab, and before you could say “Random Security Screening” we were in the Business Class lounge at the Saigon Airport.

Elvina: It all seems like a blur but in the course of one day (probably an extremely busy day at malls back home) we had changed a plane ticket, bought a new one, had lunch, and flew to another city for dinner. Speaking of dinner, we walked into a hole-in-the-wall place simply because it advertised vegetarian dishes. Upon sitting down, we quickly realized the lack of menus, save for a little piece of paper stuck the wall with less than 10 items. We used our limited Vietnamese menu knowledge to figure out what was what. We pointed, and got food. Pretty simple.

Walking around Danang was not much to write about. Yes, it was night time by then, but it is a dark and quiet little town, without much going on. We just slept off the surreal day and woke up early to go to Hoi An. It took a bit of searching to find the bus station. In the end, we never found it but some locals told us to just wait by the side of the road and they’d show us which bus to flag down. So we ended up paying way more than any locals, sitting in the back row of this very sketchy city bus, which we thought we’d fall out of every time the back door opened. The saving grace was meeting a nice Estonian guy who was traveling to Hoi An as well.

Glen: It should be worth noting at this point, that Elvina got sick. Nothing major, just the side effects of moving around crowded Asia so much. But we did have to make a quick (and painless) trip to the doctors. I mention this for one reason: had this been on any other trip, this would have been the biggest concern and downer, but not us.

Anyway, after getting very lost, we eventually found a guesthouse and enjoyed Hoi Ann. Really, it is a fabulous city, and well worth a visit for anyone who plans on going through Vietnam. After a great two days there, we hopped back on a flight and returned to Ho Chi Minh City, once more.

Chapter 5 – Panic on the Streets of Saigon

Glen’s Song: “I Predict a Riot” – Kaiser Chiefs
Elvina’s Song: “Bang” – Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Glen: Remember back in Chapter 2, Elvina said that the streets were crazy after Vietnam defeated Thailand in soccer? Well the night that we landed in Ho Chi Minh once more, they won again, moving them one step closer to the World Cup. So the streets were even more insane.

No, scratch that, the streets were absolutely bonkers with excitement.

As we hopped in a cab and drove to our hotel, people everywhere were cheering, flags were being hung from the many (MANY) motorcycles going all around us. Every intersection was like a mosh pit, as people everywhere were reveling in nationalistic fervour. Say what you will about how much athletes get paid, and how the purity of sports has been lost somewhere between all of the Coca-Cola Sponsors, but there is little that has the power to get people together more than a good sporting event.

After about 40 minutes of slow rides, and fast riots, things started to kick up a notch. We got to one of the main roundabouts in the city, and there was a whole mob of sports fans there. Flags were being waved all over the place. When people noticed me (the token white guy) in the car, they started to cheer at me and give me the thumbs up, all well and good I thought. Then things got a bit more out of control.

First people started pounding on the car in some sort of a game. Then, someone jumped on the back of the taxi to wave his flag from a higher point; a few people jumping on the hood of the car to cheer followed this. While I found the joy enticing at first, I was starting to get a little scared at this point.

To his credit, our driver calmly opened the door, and got the guys off of the hood. A few voices of reason emerged from the cheering masses, as some total strangers helped escort our car out of the crowd and on to safety.

We got to our hotel, and probably paid too much for too little, but at that point we did not care. We certainly had no plans to go outside, and all we needed to do was get to the Consulate the next morning, and be on our merry way.

Elvina: I really loved Hoi An, and considered it a bonus at this point. I might even like to go back at some point. But, Glen summarized all of it quite well so I’ll leave it at that and just move on to the good stuff.

Chapter 5 – Lucky at Last

Glen’s Song: “Lucky Day in Hell” - The Eels
Elvina’s Song: “Beautiful Day” – U2

Elvina: I woke up on Monday morning rarin’ to go. I remember we both said, “Today is the day!” That is actually quite funny because I woke up on the Friday we began the trip thinking the same thought. We got out of the hotel, with the only priority of finding a bite to eat before we were onwards to the consulate.

We found the consulate without any problems, but Glen couldn’t go inside since he didn’t bring his passport. He headed to a coffee shop type place across the street. As I entered through security, I felt a strange sense of relief, as cliché as it sounds. The whole experience was oddly American-centric but also very Asian as well.

Upon entry, you are greeted by a sign that points immigrants, visitors, etc, to the left or right. American Citizens, it says in bold letters go straight ahead to a big scary iron gate.

I go up to take a number, as the sign says to do. I see that blank forms are along the back wall so I pick up the appropriate one and complete it. Just as I finish and look up to see how far they are away from my number, I see a sign that says:

Go directly to window 3 for any of the following:

  1. Additional visa pages in your passport.

I didn’t need to read any further. I went immediately, as directed. No one was there and I tried to make my presence a bit more known. A woman came by and I asked if I was at the right place to submit this form, which I held up. She looked at the form, my passport, and disappeared. I waited. Another woman came over and asked if she could help me. I told her that I was waiting for my passport from the previous woman. She said, “Oh it will take about…” In my mind, I heard her say “… two week.” In reality, she said, “… half an hour.” Gleefully surprised and relieved, I asked her if I’d need a receipt to claim my passport later. Oddly enough, there wasn’t. And, there was no charge for this service. I go across the street to join Glen for a glass of fruit juice. Soon, I have my new thick passport in hand! We go back to the hotel to get our stuff and we are on the bus to the airport we know so well.

Glen: We finally made it into Cambodia, and it was fantastic. Angkor is completely mind blowing, and Phnom Penh is completely soul sapping. Just what we were after.

Things in Cambodia were fantastic, as our luck really got turned around. I guess we had to go through a bit of karmic overdraft, but things worked out in the end.

So I guess if we could impart some advice to anyone out there it would be the following three things:

  1. Carefully read all plane tickets

  2. Know how many pages you have left in your passport at all times

  3. Never, and I mean NEVER travel in a country when they are playing important soccer games.

Hopefully you can learn from our mistakes!

Until next time,

G

Friday, November 28, 2008

The Red Detachment of Women

Last week, I had the opportunity for a unique cultural experience, I got to go to my first Chinese Ballet. It was an important and very popular number called The Red Detachment of Women. After I saw the production, I wanted to run right home and right a blog all about it, but for one of the few times in my life, I was absolutely speechless. It is only now, after some reflection, that I am able to properly explain what I witnessed.

Allow me to provide a bit of context and history first. The Red Detachment of Women, was the ballet shown to Richard Nixon during his visit to China in 1972, and it is one of the "eight model plays" which were the only operas or ballets allowed during China during the Cultural Revolution. Therefore, it is very, very pro-communist. Do not believe me? Well here is a scene from the film version of the movie. Pay extra attention to the oh-so-subtle Party overtones at around the one minute mark.



If you had trouble reading between the lines, understand one thing: she loves communism, and communism loves her.

The basic plot synopsis, is that the main character, Wu Qinghua, escapes from being a slave by an evil lord. She stumbles upon the Red Army (and in particular their female detachment) and joins them. They strike back against the lord, save the day, and continue to march on to victory.

Moral of the story: Workers of the world always unite.

At first viewing, myself and my friends were absolutely blown away by the shear blatancy of the Red-love-in. However, after doing some thought, we came to an important conclusion. It is not that different than most American films, especially from that time frame.

So many Western movies, even today, are centred around the idea of Freedom, and Democracy. The villains are Russian, Chinese, Arabic, or Latino, and the good guy comes in to free the day, and allow America to prosper over all.

Don't believe me? Watch Saving Private Ryan or any John Wayne movie.

My point is that proganda pervades entertainment in any culture, at any time, however it is always easiest to see it in different places and different times. So obviously, the question must remain, what exactly are people trying to get us to think right now?

I have some ideas, but I have a feeling that future generations will have a much clearer picture. Until then, I think that I'll continue criticizing these happy soliders.




Until next time,

G

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

"Welcome to the Jungle Baby..."

Last week was a wonderful time here in China, Golden Week. A time when everyone in China gets a week off for holidays. Now the thought of traveling around with 1.3 billion other people did not appeal to me all that much, so I hoped a fairly cheap flight to Kuala Lumpur Malaysia. After spending a day or so in KL (as all the cool kids call it) I hoped on a bus to Taman Negara, a jungle park.

Now getting to this jungle paradise is quite the process as it first takes a three hour bus ride from KL to get to the tiny town of Jerentut. This is followed by a twenty minute bus ride to a dock, and then (the coolest part) a three hour boat ride up river on something that is little more than a canoe with a motor on the back of it.

The boat was really crowded, but still comfortable. There wasn't much to do other than make a few friends, lay back, and enjoy the view as the jungle got thicker and thicker. Needless to say, I felt like I was in Apocalypse Now, all I was missing was someone yelling "Charlie don't surf!" sadly that never happened. The closest thing that I got to that was having the water splash up and damage the book I was reading.

After reaching my destination, I didn't exactly find Colonel Kurtz, but rather a small, charming little town called Kuala Tahan (why nobody ever referred to it as KT is beyond me). This town was literally across the river from the park, and had clearly developed as a place for tourists to stay while exploring the park. Despite the obvious recent development, KT (as I shall be calling it, hear by establishing the trend) maintained a great small, woodsy charm. The town had a wide range of accommodation going from some very minimalistic hostels to some very grand resorts. One of the coolest things though was that the actual town lacked any restaurants, instead they were floating on the river.

After surveying the town, finding a place to stay, and learning the hard way why they call it a "Rain Forest" (I'll give you a hint: it involves a lot of water falling from the sky), I settled down for the night since I had some big plans for the next day.

After I woke up the real adventure began. See myself and a few other travelers ended up hiring a guide to take us on a short (two day, one night) trek into the jungle, miles and miles away from the civilization of floating restaurants. Coolest part? That one night was to be spent sleeping in a cave.

Feel free to re-read that to absorb that awesomeness.

But before I could get to my cave filled slumber, I had to get there. En route, we stopped at the pre-eminent tourist stop in Taman Negara, the Canopy Walk. Now, there is not much to describe this place, other than it is a plank suspended a good 50 meters (that's 167 feet for those of you stuck in the Imperial system) above the jungle floor, and it's very shaky while you walk on it.

Needless to say the views were stunning. Also needless to say, it was simply terrifying for those of us who are afraid of heights, or more aptly, afraid of falling from high places. After taking many pictures, and gasps for breath, we made on our way farther up the river to start hiking.

Now I consider myself to be reasonably in shape, and more than capable of handling the 8.5km hike that was put in front of me. How wrong I was. The reason I had these pre-conceived notions is because my long hikes have predominantly been in Canada, with Canadian weather. Here I was in Malaysia, with equatorial weather and humidity. After an hour of walking over tangled brush, I had to start rationing my water for fear of running out.

Our guide was truly great at his job. He would stop and tell us all about different trees, animals, or tracks we saw. He was so patient in dealing with us Westerners who had never experienced anything like this before. We would have been in a huge amount of trouble if not for him that's for sure.

I put in a picture of a giant ant that he caught, because I couldn't really think of a better place to put it in the context of this post, and it is pretty awesome.

Apparently they bite, but E, super guide, wasn't scared.

I would be remiss to not mention the leeches. If the only leeches you have seen are in the swamp or Stand By Me, you have no idea how vicious those blood suckers can be. See in the jungle, they walked around on the ground, crawling like an inch worm, and would stand up vertically, dangling around trying to latch a hold of something warm to suck on. Scariest part? They can crawl through your socks and latch on, enjoying dinner on you. You have to physically pull them off, in a slightly painful, but extremely horrifying and bloody experience. If you don't want nightmares from this, scroll past the picture posted below, which is one after it fed.




Don't say that I didn't warn you.

Apparently all of the leeches slowed us down, because we ended up well behind schedule. As a result of this, we got another reminder as to why it is called a "Rain Forest" (hint: It's not because of the snow). Hurrying to fight the elements, we ended up watching the sun disappear, and darkness surround us.

At this point it is worth noting, that I have a very active imagination, and being in a group of six in the middle of the jungle at night, with a bunch of very strange noises, is quality material for a monster movie. If you can imagine how scared I was becoming, then you are not even half-way to imagining the pure horrors going on in my mind at this point.

After trekking for what seemed like an eternity, we ended up at our home, sweet cave for the night. It was a miraculous place, made out of lime stones and had all sorts of melted "sheets", that I couldn't quite capture on film, given the strange lighting. I slept soundly that night, without even thinking about the things that go bump in the night.

Waking up I got one of the greatest views I have ever arisen to:




Spectacular, eh?

Sadly, this was one of the final pictures that I was able to take before my camera went haywire saying that it had "Camera Error #E21", so no more picture for the rest of this trip, but don't worry, it's fine now. Not that it really matters for the purposes of this blog post.

After waking up and having a hearty breakfast we set on our way, having another 8.5km to stroll through before reaching the boat again. Again, let me restate: 8.5km through the jungle is a far greater challenge than 8.5km damn near anywhere else on the planet, since the first day's hike took us a solid 7 hours (including stops) to make.

Thankfully, the second day was much easier, and less eventful. We made a stop at another cave, but this one was full of the most terrifying animal on earth, bats. That's right, those winged-mammalian pets of Satan where everywhere, flying all around me and smelling, like well, bat shit. After we looked around, we saw a snake perched on a ledge inside the cave. Our ever intrepid guide, E, decided that he needed to touch this snake (saying it was a hobby of his), so after chasing it around, and assuring us that it was not poisonous, he got it. I went to go and touch the snake, and E decided to rest it on my shoulder, at which point it wrapped around my neck. Yes another chance for me to be terrified.

After unraveling the reptile from my larynx, we moved on and continued our long march. Over the course of the several kilometers we had to walk, we had to cross many streams and creeks, building small little bridges out of rocks or logs. At some point on this day, we came to a steep creek, which had the usual rock/log bridge, but it also had a much cooler way to cross the river, a vine.

As previously mentioned, my camera did not work at this point, but here is the closest visual representation I can find to my crossing of this creek.



Yeah, I Tarzaned it. Can't say that I've ever done that before.

The rest of my hike back was pretty uneventful, but then again, what can top being strangled by a snake and swinging on a vine?

Anyway, after reaching the boat, it was night time. All I could do was stare up as the stars slowly appeared in an unfamiliar pattern.

I realized, it was the first time that I got to see the Southern Cross, further knocking one more thing of my life's "To-Do List".

I'll wrap this one up with some random jungle shots that didn't really fit anywhere else, followed be a few songs to soundtrack that journey...




Guns n' Roses -- "Welcome to the Jungle"





The Fugees -- "Rumble in the Jungle"



Kool & The Gang -- "Jungle Boogie"




The (mother f'n) Time -- "Jungle Love"



The Tokens -- "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"



Lion King Theme -- "Circle of Life"




Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young -- "Southern Cross"




Until next time,

G

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Logging My Journey...

Well hello there everyone, it's official, I'm back in business!!! Welcome one and all to the season premiere of Getting Glenergized, coming to you live and direct from the People's Republic of China!

For my first post of the season, I decided to do a live log of my Trans-Pacific Flight, since well I was pretty darned bored. Here is the journey of my flight, taking place on August 20-21st....enjoy!!!

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Current Time: 1:26PM EDT
Current Mood: Excited
Current Soundtrack: The Arcade Fire - Keep the Car Running

The captain has turned off the seat belt light, and I have moved my way back to a free row, where I now sit. I'm bunking in seat 40D for the next 14 hours or so of my life. The take off was smooth, but is now a little bit bumpy, I can't help but feel that is some sort of an omen.

I have spent the last several days, if not months, preparing for this trip. I got my passport renewed, my visa sorted out, said all of my goodbyes, and now here I am way thirty thousand feet above the country I have called home for most of my life, and there is no turning back. Since I left my school back in June, I have been saying goodbye, and quite frankly, I am a little sick of it. While it has been nice to bid everyone farewell, and given me a great deal of closure, this time has been long overdo.

Every goodbye, from my friends to my students to my parents, carries with it a certain amount of emotion, and dare I say, a hint of regret. Did I say all that I need to? Did I do everything with this person that I wanted to? How much of my time did I waste that I could have spent with this person? In the end, it doesn't matter, because what's done is done, and nothing can be changed. There are all sorts of people that I will miss greatly over the next year or two (or more?) but such is life, especially the life of a nomad like me.

Anyway, I am going to be off to find some way to entertain myself for the next little while, I'll be back to post whenever that bores me.

Current Time: 2:37PM EDT
Current Mood: Schemy
Current Soundtrack: Wolf Parade - Grounds For Divorce

After playing a bit of Civilization III, I decided to watch an episode of "Kenny vs. Spenny" on the enRoute TV, and it got me thinking. Why don't I have horrifying challenges with friends of mine? I think that I am equal parts diabolical Kenny and neurotic Spenny. It would be pretty hilarious. Anyone out there in the blogosphere want to engage in some sort of maniacal and humiliating challenge? The possibilities have endless hilarious outcomes.

Alright time to go, off to scheme.

Current Time: 3:35PM EDT
Current Mood: Accomplished
Current Soundtrack: Tegan and Sara - Call it Off

I played a bit more Civizilation and I got a pretty easy (and dare I say) impressive Domination Victory as the Persians. I am pretty proud of myself for that one, so I think that I'm going to either erect a statue to my greatness, or maybe just start a new game soon enough.

Sadly, all of the windows are closed, and the on screen map is not working, so I really have no idea where the heck I am, but I would guess that I am probably leaving Ontario shortly (if I haven't already) which actually means that I have crossed the first of the 11 time zones that I will pass today. For simplicities sake, I'll keep writing in Eastern (Toronto) time, no point in trying to wrap my head around that one, although it could be kind of funny, especially when daylight savings are taken into account of it all. What a crazy world we live in.

I have the entire three rows to myself, and I have yet to try putting my feet up, as I have left my computer bag on the middle seat next to me, I guess I want to make it as comfortable as possible when I try to lie down and have a nap, which may just be soon.

I just took a second to peruse the movie choice, and I think that I am going to give 21 a try. Partly because I heard it's awesome, partly because it's about math geeks like me, and partly because Troy says one of the guys reminds him of me, I want to see how right he is.

Current Time: 5:51PM EDT
Current Mood: Enthusiastic
Current Soundtrack: Rebelution - Safe and Sound

21 kicks ass, make a point to watch it. Also of note, it has one of the greatest soundtracks for any movie I have seen in a while, from Peter Bjorn & John to LCD Soundsystem to the sweet Rolling Stones remix at the end, it was a tour de rock.

For the record, the main character is a touch Glenish, but not quite as much as Troy let me believe. Mostly because I don't think that I could land a gal as gorgeous as he did. (Note to the Future: If a significant other of mine is reading this somewhere down the line, I was clearly wrong on that one)

Still not really sure where I am, but I think that I am somewhere over the Pacific Ocean right now, and lord only knows what time zone it is, it is probably best not to ask such questions for it will only make me feel small. A lot of people are sleeping on the plane right now, and I'm not really sure if I should try or not, I feel tired, but only because it is dark in here, and there isn't much else to do. However, Shanghai is waking up now, so I feel a certain sense of energy and enthusiasm at this point. I think that I will celebrate by making a second case for world domination.

Current Time: 6:54PM EDT
Current Mood: Reflective
Current Soundtrack: Jeremy Fisher - Left Behind

"You're always dreaming so far ahead, I feel a little left behind. We'll never find each other my love in the same place, at the same time"

That's a quote from the above mentioned song. It seems appropriate considering how far away I'm going and for how long.

Here's hoping those lyrics ring true for someone special out there.

Current Time: 7:47PM
Current Mood: Confused
Current Soundtrack: Hawksley Workman - Jealous of Your Cigarette

I think that it's dinner time, or maybe it's breakfast. I'm not really certain. Either way, they are serving me food, so I guess it is time to eat.

Note to Future Travellers: Request a special meal on the plane, you'll get served way before anyone else. Score another point for veganism, take that omnis.

I noticed that I have a chance to watch Batman Begins. While I have seen it before, I think that I will love it even more now that I have seen Dark Knight three times, in theatres. For the record, I would like to nominate that film for an Academy Award for Best Movie EVER MADE.
Maybe I'll try and get some sleep soon, although Batman gets me really excited so it may be a bit of a challenge, ahh well, I shall do my best.

Current Time: 10:09PM EDT
Current Mood: Inspired
Current Soundtrack: Neil Young - Keep on Rocking in the Free World (Live Acoustic)

Three simple words: Batman Kicks Ass

I forgot how fantastic the first installment in the Nolan Reboot actually is. Granted it isn't half the movie that Dark Knight, but I don't think that much really is.

A few hours ago, I wanted to have humiliation contests with my friends, now I want to be come a ninja and fight crime. I guess I should start putting "Impressionable" as my mood from here on out. I chose this song to listen to because of that desire to help out, and also for cheeringly ironic reasons, considering my destination.

Watching Batman, and listening to Neil, I can't help but wonder exactly what I can do to make the world a better, more just place. I chose to become a teacher to be a guiding light, and good influence on others, and I like to think that I have the power to accomplish that, but I wonder, is it enough? The world is a massive place, full of some very bad people, surely a good person such as myself can do something to help, can't I? I guess I have to figure out some way to save the world. As I re-read that last sentence I can't help but wonder, maybe that is the meaning of life and everyone's grand purpose, saving the world from itself.

Or maybe my purpose now is to try and get some sleep, only five hours left to go.

Current Time: 12:00AM EDT
Current Mood: Restless
Current Soundtrack: Sigur Ros - Starlafur

I've been on this plane just short of 11 hours and have yet to get a wink of sleep...uggh.
I really have nobody to blame for this at all, the other passengers have been reasonably quiet and I have three seats all to myself. I guess I'm just anxious. Perhaps I should title this blog post "Confessions of a Travelling Insomniac", or maybe not, that is kind of lame.

When I look at the time, it occurs to me that it is now August 21. However, I crossed the international date line awhile ago, so it has been the 21st for quite some time. Damn time zones, so hard to wrap your head around.

Well, hopefully this is the last post I make until I arrive at my pad in Suzhou. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Current Time: 1:57AM EDT
Current Mood: Exhausted
Current Soundtrack: The Killers - Read My Mind

I got about an hour and a half of sleep, and I think that will probably be it.

I was woken up a little while ago for breakfast, or lunch, or maybe it was a midnight snack, I really don't know anymore. Ugh, tomorrow is going to be rough. Or rather, today is going to be rough. Either way, I'm pretty damn excited about it.

Descending time will start soon, the computer should get packed up soon. China, here I come!

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Current Day: August 24, 2008
Current Time: 4:05AM EDT
Current Mood: Serendipitous
Current Soundtrack: Children playing

I'm here now in Suzhou, as I have been since I finished the above post, and all is well. My apartment is fantastic, my colleagues are wonderful, and everything looks like it is going to work out just fine.

I will post back with new information soon as things start to settle down. If any of you out there are worried about me, please stop. All is well.

Until next time,

G

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Beyond Explanation

[EDITOR'S NOTE: March 22, 2008: 7pm EDT, pictures posted...enjoy!]

Yesterday I had one of the most surreal experiences of my life. We had spent several days building a concrete floor for a school in a small, local village, and had finally finished. The villagers wanted to thank us, so they held a ceremony in our honour.

We sat down, in a circle around some sacred Buddhist offerings, and the village elder lead a prayer (in Lao). The leader splashed some rice whisky on our hands and then offered us some bananas and taro to snack on. After the blessing, I felt the hands of many villagers come around me, as they turned me around, said a few words, which I couldn't understand, and then proceeded to take white strings, and tie them around my wrists. Apparently it was for good luck, and to ward off evil spirits, who am I to argue.

Afterwards, they offered us some chicken (which I refused -- vegan), and some rice whiskey (which I also -- teacher, in front of students).

They then began a series of call and answer songs, and then the old men started to drum, and play a variety of string instruments, which I couldn't tell you the name of for the life of me. The oldest man got up, bowed in front of one of the female teachers and picked her up into the centre of the circle. This set off a chain, as several other old Laotians rose, bowed in front of a Westerner, and brought them into the circle. Next thing we knew we were all dancing around, very slowly and dramatically, sometimes my partner (a Lao woman in her 60s...at least) and I would change places in the circle, to the great amusment of the locals.

This process was repeated time and time, again, by the 5th time or so, we deciided that we needed to show the Laotians some "Canadian Dance Moves", and myself and an other student proceeded to demonstrate the shopping card, the lawnmower, the robot, chruning the butter, the dice roll, the macarana, and a variety of disco moves. It would have been a great promotional video for "Dynamic Inter-Cultural Exchanges" to say the least.

Afterwards, we talked, even though we didn't share the same language, we shared some laughs. As we drove off from the village, I looked at all of the students and I asked them a simple question "Was this real, or just another Malarone Dream?".

Looking back at my camera, the pictures tell me it wasn't a dream, but I still need a bit more convincing.

Until next time,

G

P.S. Here is the finished product for anyone interested

Sunday, March 16, 2008

The Malarone Chronicles

Hello there all, I am writing to you livefrom the Laos People's Democratic Republic, and things have been going super dee duper well thus far. I've got lots of stories already, but only so much internet time to share them. The one thing that I want to talk about today is not the temples, the scenary, or the people, no it's the drugs.

If any of you have ever been to a tropical climate you may have heard of a little thing called Malarone. See Malarone is a drug that prevents you from getting Malaria, so it's a pretty handy thing to have. However, one of the side effects of Malarone is very, very vivid dreams. I have had a number of vivid dreams since I got here, but many of them were rather forgettable. However there are two that stand out.

During the first dream, I was in class teaching, when the Head of School came into my class and told me what a great job I had been doing teaching during my first year. Of course, I was humbled by this, and I thanked him for his kind words. He then told me that he wanted to thank me by giving me a present, and he proceeded to give me a key lime pie. Yeah, you read that right, I was given pastry as a recognition of success.

He then handed me an apple pie to give to another teacher, Rebecca. The thing was, this pie was in fact half-eaten. I looked at it awkwardly, and I was vry unsure as to the best method of giving her this pie as a way of saying thank you. Eventually, I cornered Rebecca in the school chapel and gave her the pie and said "You know that this is for", only to wake up confused, and a little hungry.

The next dream, however, is far odder. See, in my dream I was stuck on the island featured in the show Lost, with all of the characters on the show. Now, in the dream we were going to confront the "Moster" which has been a staple on the show since the firt season. After peering beyong a door, we figured out that it was going to be there, and we figured out that it would be a dragon or something else equally frightening. When we barged into the room, we found something more terrifing than any fire-brething lizard.

We found a home and garden show.

Seriously.

After taking a seat, we listened to the leader of this show, talk, and many people chanted back, in a zealous manner. The leader, then said "It's time for the most important part of this show, the human sacrifice". It was then informed, that everyone would have to write down the names of five people they felt should be sacrificed, and they would end up sacrificing the five people with the most votes.

I scurried around, and seemed to bump into everyone I knew, from Acadia, to Kodiak, to Nipissing, to teaching. A few people from various walks of life came to me, and said that they were going to write my name down, so I wrote down their name to counter it.

After I wrote down the names of four people the worst thing possible happened. I woke up.

I guess I'll never know what happens after the fifth vote was casted. Maybe that is for the best...

Until next time,

G